Let’s Have a Laugh!

Mike 11/09/2018

Genuine Tenant Quotes to Dublin City Corporation

In the world of property management, there are plenty of engaging and funny things going on. These are genuine complaints from clearly disgruntled tenants in Dublin, Ireland. You’ll find yourself wondering what they were thinking when they wrote their complaint, and there are some doozies too.

Official Complaints

  • “It’s the dog’s mess that I find hard to swallow.”
  • “I want some repairs done to my cooker as it has backfired and burned my knob off.”
  • “My bush is really overgrown around the front and my back passage has fungus growing in it.”
  • “He’s got this huge tool that vibrates the whole house and I just can’t take it any more.”
  • “I request permission to remove my drawers in the kitchen.”
  • “Their 18 year-old son is continually banging his balls against my fence.”
  • “The toilet is blocked and we can’t bath the children until it is cleared.”
  • “I wish to report that tiles are missing from the outside toilet roof. I think it was the bad wind the other night that blew them off.”
  • “My lavatory seat is cracked. Where do I stand?”
  • “Our lavatory seat is broken in half and is now in three pieces.”
  • “I am writing on behalf of my sink.”
  • “50% of the walls are damp, 50% have crumbling plaster and 50% are plain filthy.”
  • “Will you please send someone to mend the garden path? My wife tripped and fell on it yesterday and now she is pregnant.”

And then there are these…

  • “I want to complain about the farmer across the road. Every morning at 6.00am his cock wakes me up and it’s now getting too much for me.”
  • “The man next door has a large erection in his back garden which is unsightly and dangerous.
  • “Our kitchen floor is damp. We have two children and would like a third so please send someone around to do something about it.”
  • “I am a single woman living in a downstairs flat. Could you please do something about the noise made by the man on top of me every night?”
  • “Please send a man with the right tool to finish the job and satisfy my wife.”
  • “I have had the clerk of works down on the floor six times but I still have no satisfaction.”
I hope you enjoyed that lot!